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something new...

Ok.... for the first time in i dont know how long im happy! i started packing some things up and got a few things out and in storage. i guess when it comes right down to it now that i have made up my mind its just a matter of following threw with it...Im really working on getting my resolve up enough to do what needs to be done.. id rather it end in a fight but i dont know if that is a good thing either... I know im done with it all i just need to find the right time... but there never is a right time for this is there...
i think that this weekend i have laughed, smiled and in general had a better time then i have had in quite a long time. i played alot of wow, fable 2 and dragon age. Not to mention had some wonderful converstations with friends and family. Im impatiently waiting for sept to roll around so i can hang out with my lyz and jonny. im so excited i could vomit. yea i know kinda gross but stilli have butterflies from the nervousness of it all and i havnt had butterflies in so long! Plans have been made ,tickets have been bought, now all thats left to do is wait..... 5 months is going to crawl by.... i hope not...
Anyway... i have lost 12.4 lbs and still going! im hoping to continue to lose weight! if i work hard maybe ill see myself in a bakini this year... hears to wishful thinking! but i am determined!


So i got everything done on my list yesterday except the finishing of the wrapping of presents. I also made 4 pendants for the store MUSE. So far i have sold 4 out of that store and they wanted me to make some more so i did. :D they sold two of them in one day i was so excited! :dance:
on a crafty note... im working on a new pair of socks for the mother... she asked for a set and im a making them away... the pattern is supper easy but it looks great... ill have to take pictures of them when there all done.she wants another set of the same pattern for her store. After im all done those two i have a pair that i want to make for my aunt for christmas NEXT year so those can wait awhile. So when im done moms commition im going to make a pair for to sell and a set of gloves... just have to figure out which patterns to do. I have determined that im going to sell them on esty on my account, see what i can do with that...  im going to be a knitting machine!
Speaking of... time to knit!


So I have determined that there is just not enough time in the day to do all the things that i would like to do. For example.... Today, before work, Id like to: clean the bathroom, do the dishes, fold the laundry, vaccumm the floors, and finish wrapping my christmas gifts.... I may have time to do a third of those things on my list. Even on my days off i dont have enough time to do what i want to do... thats even getting up at 8am... again for example, I have the 23rd off and honestly id love to have a day to myself to do absolutly nothing and stay in jammys all day but im going to go horse back ridding in the morning, because jubilee is NOT pregnant... she had a false pregnancy and is are very sad about that but happy that i get to ride her now, Then im  going to see harry potter after words which means that there is no more time to do anything... SIGH. Its tragic.... perhaps ill just say the hell with it and my next day off is for ME.
Been working really hard at work. pulling 13 day streches. The only problem is that the 13 day streches only have one day off inbetween. So im super tiered. blah... but on a good note... I think im all done my christmas shopping. while i was out yesterday i say the CUTEST tea set and i wanted it so BAD! but i resisted only because it was $50.00 :( maybe ill splurge after the holidays and get it for myself... i deserve it right?
Ok so im going to try to get my to do list done... or mostly done... wish me luck!

YAY my last day at springfield hospital EVER! Im super excited about this. No more getting up at 4am to get to work on time! YES! * fist pump* No more woo woot ! Nope im not excited, not one bit :D LOL 
So i took a nap when i got home last night from work, it was only an hour and a half nap but could i go to bed at a reasonable hour? NOPE my body said "Becky... your supposed to be up untill at least 11." Yea it was great... 4am came just a little to soon for me this morning. But I DONT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT IT ANY MORE! MUAHHAHAHAHAHAHAH! ok im over it...
i work tomorrow 3-11 then i have a day off... Woot... Got a wedding to go to on sunday... yay.... ok no not really but thats ok.... then it quality time with the mommy on monday.... So then ill have 2 days off in a row... HOLY CRAP! im being spoiled! its ok tho.... i am in need of some days off... all this work and no play is making becky a dull girl.
Ahhh adulthood... what i wouldnt give to go back to being a kid again when i didnt have to worry about things like money and bills.... when things were simpler.... ahh the good old days....


So Im working my last weekend at springfield hospital this weekend. YAY! ok that was a little to excited i know but im super happy about it because honestly an hour drive one way in the snow sucks and the snow is going to be flying here soon so to be honest im not to broken up about it. Plus my new job has me working over 40 hours a week so im making my money back and then some. SO no complaints on leaving here.... OK ill admit i have meet some very nice people here and im going to miss some of the people that i work with.... SIGH... Ok no more...
New job is going well. Been feeling like i really know what im doing now which is nice. I also feel like im someone people come to in emergencys because of my EMT backround which again is nice. Im feeling like for the most part im fitting in there. I think its going to be a good place to start although its not what i want to do with my life.... NO long term care is definatly not for me.... SO.... Im going to be applying to schools for my RN to see how quickly i can get that... I have been told a year and a half and ill have my RN BSN. Which is good.... Also going to call VT EMS to see if there is a loop hole where i can at least get my EMT B back... start working as an EMT again part time. that is as soon as i get a few days off here... at the moment im lucky to get one day off a week but im not complaining... its money in the bank and at this point and time i dont know when im going to be leaving the place that im in...
Just gave my mom a grand to stick in the savings account.... hopefully i can do that once a month for a bit to save up some moneys.... The OH SHIT fund is starting to creep up again which makes me happy.
I wish that david and i would figure out what the hell we are doing... again he left for mass friday when he got home from work and again came home from work to an empty house with no warning... NOT cool.... I dont care that he left early i just would have liked to have a heads up on it at least..... we havnt talked about our last argument... over dishes.... *rolls eyes*... and i can say that im honestly all done dealing with the shit... when we do talk about it... and im going to make a point to talk about it... im going to tell him that i am NOT going to do dishes every day, that it is not my job to be his maid and that i refuse to be made to feel that way.
Now i realize that he makes me dinner when im home and i appreciate that but is it to much to ask for a little help with the house chores? I mean seriously... he hasnt cleaned the bathroom since i moved in, doesnt do laundry but waits for me to do it and if i dont he brings a load down to mass with him to have his sister do it for him.... SERIOUSLY?! I swear he needs a maid to do everything for him.
Ok enough of that.... its like verbal diarrhea of the mouth here... or fingers... whatever :P
So the money is being saved for a super great vacation to WA at some point and time... probably spring/summerish? we shall see... i have to wait 6 months before i can take a vacation of any kind and i have to work either thanksgiving or christmas and new years.... or something like that... but i get double pay for the holidays so :D more money saved! WOOT!


No I dont feel like a pirate today. Although i wish i did. It would be much better then what i feel today.
David and I got into a fight over me not doing dishes to the point where I was ready to tell him i was going to pack my shit and i was going to be out by the weekend. See we got into the fight on thursday night... the only night i had off all week... and we fight about damn dishes! are you kidding me? Really? OK I understand that he doesnt want to have to do dishes when he gets home from work but I work too... so i dont see the difference. I dont have davids maid stamped on my forehead. I shouldnt be the only one doing the house work in the house. So at any rate... he slept on the couch that night. I went to work the next night and had planed on talking to him about it more when i got home... Basically to tell him that if he cant understand why I  dont want to be the only one doing housework in the house, why I shouldnt be the only one doing the dishes that i would pack my stuff and go because clearly i cant be what he feels he needs me to be.... I get home and hes not home..... he left for mass early! what the hell. So we dont talk for like 2 days.... and last night he acted like it never even happened.... I HATE THAT.
Ok so im going to go to moms today... again my only day off.... to get some repreave from house work and try to get my head on straight.


So... Friday i got up at 8am.... played some video games for a bit and then went to work for 3-11 shift.... Came home from work  about 1130, and david needed to get up at 2:45am for a fishing trip and i needed to get up at 4am for a 6-230 job... Basically no point in sleeping. I stayed up all night. surprised i made it in to work in the morning. even more surprised i made it home from work. took a shower and let the dog out. Passed out on the couch at 5, got rudly woken up by david pounding on the door at 6. Then had to deal with people coming in and out of the house to see the fish he caugh on his fishing trip... There fish... who fucking cares?...Finally about 7 we decide that its time to go to bed. I no sooner turn out the light when someone turns on club music.... Had to turn on the fan to drown out the insane bass... It was freezing out side and im shivering... grabed a blanket at 930pm. Holy crap.... OVER 36 hours awake it was insane and i dont want to do it again.
I gave my notice to springfield yesterday. No more 36 hour all nighters, no more hour drive, no more 12.03 an hour. besides 2 days everyother weekend isnt cutting it.
Im supposed to be going riding today but its yucky and rainny looking out. I also have to give the dog a bath and clean the house. I have a headache and i just dont want to do it....


I was going to go horse back riding today but there is just SO much that needs to be done in the house that im not going to be able to go :( The dog needs a flea bath because of the old upstairs neighbors bringing in an infestation... note that they are now OLD neighbors. But now moe has fleas and im trying to get rid of them... fun fun. the house needs to be vaccumed, dishes need to be done, laundry needs to be washed, the bathroom needs to be c leaned.... its like the never ending to do list. and im the only one that seems to do the house chores....since ive been working as much as i have been the house chores have been put on the back burner and its gotten to the point where i cant take the dirtiness of the house any longer. Kinda funny since he had the day off yesterday and nothing got done... why? because he went fishing..... Im tempted just to go and have a good time and say screw it..... Tempting but the house is to much of a mess.....


So one of the guests plugged the toilet and didnt even unplug it! who does that? I mean really.... and then I find out from david that they want to come over every other weekend.... UMMMM can we say NO. Thankfully he said no to that. I dont think i could handle that one.
I have such a headache today. I havnt been getting enough sleep and im not entirely sure why. I know I have had a headache for a few days now. which again i think its from the little sleep thing.... stress from work might be getting to me a bit. Blah i dont know. im all over the place today. I need more sleep... only got about 3 hours...
So I have to work tonight... and I think im going to get stuck with the odd side, the heaviest in volume. It always seems to be the way of it when i work. The regular that takes the odd side doesnt want to be on the odd side all the time which i get but why do i have to be on the odd side all the time? I know bitch bitch bitch... im lucky to have a job. im just tiered of always having the odd side. id like to have a half side cart so i can work on taking off orders.
see im all over the place. bah!

So I just got off the phone with my sister. they so called friend of hers desided to dump beer in her new truck, chase her around her truck, chase her in his truck when she tried to leave, and left bruising on her, called her a bitch and slut all because she was talking to a guy... No she didnt call the cops, Yes she should have called the cops. If i find out shes hanging out with him again im going to beat her ass two weeks from next sunday and if i see him any time soon.... he'll be singing opera for a month when im done with him.
Also.... found out our GUESTS were smoking in the house..... HELLO not your house! I have a no smoking in the house rule... FOLLOW IT! I hope they never come back again. GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR! Not the way i want to start my shift tonight.....


So i come home from work friday night at 1130pm and get told that we are going to have guests at the house sat morning. YAY just what I want to find out at 1130 at night....  So i came home last night at 1130 to two people in the house one of which i have never seen before whom decided that it would be a good idea to hug me! are you kidding? if you dont know me PLEASE dont hug me. So now i have a headache im sleepy and cranky.... and to put the topping on the cake i have to work again tonight.



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March 2011


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